I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize