does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
