do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
