I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
