i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Randomize
