Rock
Scissors
Fuck
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
