I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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