i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
