Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I can't put those talents on a resume
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
