It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me