i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
We are all done wearing pants today
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
