It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.