Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?