im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
im about as happy as oj after his trial
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night