Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.