I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
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