I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Randomize
