yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Randomize
