dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
