we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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