I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
