it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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