So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
