Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize