i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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