YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
