im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
