I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
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