I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Randomize
