I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
