We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Also, beer. Big fan.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Randomize
