Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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