so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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