I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I just googled if crying burns calories
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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