I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Randomize
