if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
