im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
