i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
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