I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
