The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
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