I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize