and you said cock pushups were impossible
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize