its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
