It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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