just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
