he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
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