Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Randomize
