Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
