at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦🏼♀️
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize