the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
