We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Randomize