did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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