i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
