Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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