physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Randomize
