im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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