I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
