My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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