Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize