Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize