I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
