Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
