Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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