Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
