Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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